Fandom, K-Pop and why you’re not smart, you’re just sexist

A little exploration of female fandom, hysteria and why we should care.

Disclaimer: This is a repost of a post I made on Substack. If you want to read it there, please feel free to follow the link. ^ ^

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A confession 

I have a confession to make. I am a K-Pop fan. There, I said it. I know, it’s a bold statement. As soon as I mention it (in Europe) I get one of two reactions: One is a nod, a little smile, an oh that’s interesting. The other is silent judgement. Let’s be real: A lot of people think liking K-Pop is the equivalent of a diagnosis, immediately meaning some sort of fetishisation. It means you’re one of those weird people, always over the top, screaming, probably writing fan fiction or something. K-Pop in the West is a world that outsiders barely dare to enter. Maybe for a fear of being perceived as part of those weirdos?

Funnily enough, when I came to Japan I didn’t find anyone having a bigger issue with me liking K-Pop. Instead of a weird side glance, the response I got was mostly: Cool, me too. And this was the case for people from all over Asia, like Taiwan, Hong Kong or Korea and obviously Japan.

Don’t get me wrong. Being an extreme fan here is not necessarily a positive thing either, but liking K-Pop in general? Not a big deal at all. So, I began to wonder why there seems to be such an issue with K-Pop in the West.

Obviously, I had the idea for this post because of recent events. A few days ago, I went to see Stray Kids in my home country and the media did what they do best: They reported. And let’s just say with varying quality. While some media outlets tried their best to showcase a neutral picture of K-Pop, others primarily talked about the irrationality of fans. (Obviously this, too, is normal.)

But this keeps on happening, and it has been happening before. One issue is the sometimes subtle and sometimes very blatant sexism. These phenomena are portrayed in a very one-sided way, focusing on the hysteria of it all.

Hysteria

What is hysteria, you might ask? Well, it is a term used to describe uncontrollable emotion, particularly in women.

Hysteria is an incredibly sexist term. The gendered nature of it all is already reflected in the origin of the word: It comes from the Greek term for uterus. Originally, the idea was that the uterus wanders through the body and causes all sort of issues. Please don’t ask me why they thought that.

Historically, hysteria was used to explain most if not all behaviour that was seen as abnormal in women. Not wanting to get married? Hysteria. Having epilepsy? Hysteria. Hallucinations? Hysteria. Infertility? Same thing. The list goes on. As such, it became a medicalised excuse for putting women into a box.

Thanks, Sigmund. 🎀

Nowadays hysteria is not used as a diagnosis anymore. That sadly doesn’t stop people from using the term. Hysteria needs to be understood from the perspective of the 19th century: A time, when the ideal woman was pretty, quiet and taking care of the house. Opinions, ideas, or desires? Unthinkable. It is a term that was actively used to explain women’s abnormalities, a term to cage women. Language holds power. If a woman showed abnormal behaviours it was simply attributed to hysteria. The advantage: It is incredibly comfortable from a patriarchal standpoint. There’s no need to overthink values, morals and ideals. She’s just crazy. That’s it. This is an old, old story. And apparently four waves of feminism weren’t enough to get these ideas out of peoples heads. So of course, K-Pop fans are hysteric.

Women vs. Men 

Women as fans have been and still are being made fun of. Male fans? Not so much. Going to football matches every weekend, having walls plastered with merch and knowing all the fan-chants? Quirky.

Female fans doing the same? Weird, awkward or, my favourite: cringe.

Even though, let’s be so for real, it’s very similar. Men scream at men running behind a ball, women scream at men performing on stage.

I think one reason for that is that sadly, we still have way more traditional views of femininity than we’d like to admit. A woman being a fan disrupts a traditional view of womanhood, her being passionate, loud and wild simply doesn’t fit at all.

And the worst part? If desire plays a role. Some groups, and this is obviously mostly about boy groups, have mature concepts. They are supposed to be sexy. But a woman saying that she is a being with desires? Hella weird, bro.

History isn’t repeating (but it is) 

This is also nothing new, I mean look at the Beatles and their fans.

This dislike of supposed femininity is another issue to unpack. I’m saying supposed here, because the discussion of femininity as of itself is heavily tinted with traditional notions that are not necessarily scientific. The discussions of gender is, well, complicated, nuanced and this is not the place to examine it. 

Male groups that appealed to a mostly female audience have always been mocked by the media in ways that reveal discomfort with anything coded as ‘feminine.’ 

When it comes to K-Pop there’s a few more things that play a role, and that is when the xenophobia and ‘added’ sexism come to play.

K-Pop idols are usually, plot twist, from Korea or of Korean descent. They also tend to have a specific aesthetic. This aesthetic is more often than not more “feminine” ( whatever that means, I personally don’t think so, but whatever). It is also nothing new that men of Asian descent are somehow generally seen as more feminine. So, of course it is not understandable, how women could like such feminine men, with such feminine traits. Do I have to start questioning myself and what I have been told is attractive to women ? Is being a manly man not the cure to everything? Do we need to OVERTHINK THE SYSTEM?!

Side note: Some women are attracted to less manly men, it’s a simple matter of taste. In Western media we often get men that are more square, for Korean idols these types do exist, but simply aren’t as prevalent. I think this is also connected to how idols (as they are called) aren’t necessarily supposed to be perceived as ‘dangerous’. Rather they are supposed to display a sort of canvas of politeness, softness and subtlety, with just a bit of danger. That, too, is worth another full post.

Here’s the kicker though: While K-Pop idols may present a softer or more stylised image, it’s important not to confuse performance with personal identity and certainly not with broader cultural norms. South Korea remains conservative in many ways, and ideas about masculinity there are complex, to say the least. (This too, would require a longer analysis) 

And there’s the aspect of Xenophobia (meaning a fear of strangers) and the anti-Asian stereotypes in media. Also, mix in a bit of the idea, that Western culture is somehow superior to others. But that’s a story for another day (which I’m actually working on right now 👀).

Yes, you may criticise, but…

I do want to stress: Pointing out general issues in fan behaviours is very very valid. There are fans that behave in erratic ways, that most other fans would also call crazy.

I’m not trying to say criticising that is wrong. It is actually quite important. But this applies only to a minority of people. Most fans simply are that: fans. They don’t wait in front of hotels or try and figure out their favourites phone number.

The problem is not the critique itself. It’s the gendered aspect of it all. If you are going to criticise something, do it for everyone. Criticise both men and women. Point out the erratic behaviour of football fans, picture them crying when their team loses, make fun of them, too.

Why we should care 

This problem goes beyond fan culture. It’s not about me trying to defend my interests. This is about how subtle sexism can be. And subtle sexism is poison. Blatant sexism can be understood by most. If I say women are stupid, you’d probably understand how and why that is wrong. Saying something along the lines of: “I have nothing against women, but these fans are crazy” is a bit harder to find. And women might actually agree, simply because of ✨internalised misogyny✨. I’ve been there, too. But as women, we need to think about why we look at these things so critically and if our reasons for our suspicion are valid.